Zen Proverb: “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” Much has been written about the meaning of that Zen proverb. Today, I see the message as my reminder that all of life is lived only in the present moment. Enlightenment is not a destination, it is found in every “now.” It is constant practice in the simplicity of focusing in this moment. Instead, we tend to live in the future or the past . . . in our heads. It’s so easy t

When I walk on the Naugatuck Valley River Trail, I prefer to walk alone— the steady rhythm of my feet hitting pavement becomes a kind of mantra. Despite that, I do hear voices. In the breezes that sweep along the water, I hear my father’s words, “The wind clears out the cobwebs.” It does for me. Of course, there are other people on the trail. They pass coming and going within a few feet of me. On the breeze to the distress of my nose, I smell the scent of dryer sheets and the

It’s a new year and most everything is new for me with Wade’s sudden death on December 31st. One minute we were nursing the pain in his neck and shoulder; then in the next few minutes, he was gone. I am writing this on my 28th day without him. I think I will be counting days for quite a while. There will be a book about all of this. However, my inner voice said write this post, now. Wade's passing is the catalyst, my granddaughter, Nora, the inspiration. On day 23, I slept ov

In day-to-day life, I typically have a “live and let live” perspective. This post is about one thing that challenges me. Often that happens if I am lacking some information. I sincerely invite your feedback. For the past five years, I have taken many morning walks along the Naugatuck Valley River Trail. I park in the lot of the big-box store just across the dead-end street from the trail parking lot. Most often, the trail parking lot is full, including the two handicapped par

There are many different types of mothers

This past weekend I officiated a wedding-vow renewal ceremony. It was my first. I only became certified two months ago to be able to officiate marriages. I have wanted to do this for a very long time. Why did I wait so long? I don’t know, but it does serve as a good lesson for me to not procrastinate on other things I am passionate about. Wade couldn’t imagine, and questioned why I would ever want to do such a thing. My reply to him was, “Because it’s always a happy occasion

It's summer vacation time. One type of vacation is traveling to visit relatives or friends. Sometimes visiting means staying in their homes. When I was younger, I had tons of summer house guests. They were young too, with several children in tow, we had a few bedrooms, a camper onsite and a pool, so it was just one big party. When you are young you can sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag or lounge chair if there aren’t enough real beds to go around, and we did. Everyone b

How do you react when you encounter someone in a store or restaurant who has an obvious disability? Do you find yourself staring in curiosity? When you or someone you love is on the receiving end of the stare, it is a different experience. Other people’s curiosity is something I am learning to adjust to when I am out and about with my granddaughter, Nora, who among her challenges walks with the help of a leg brace. In the summertime when she’s wearing shorts, you can’t miss t

Back a few years ago when I was looking to purchase a car, I was surprised to find that I was attracted to a red car. Red anything is not typically a color choice for me. During the week or so of my decision-making process, it seemed that I began to notice red cars wherever I went. It was as if red cars were multiplying all over the place before my eyes! I did purchase a red car, and from then on what I now call my Red Car Syndrome became my metaphor for the idea that perspec

I’ve had some interesting conversations in the past few days, though calling them conversations may be stretching it a bit. I am sharing them because they are leading me to look from another perspective. Merriam-Webster defines conversation as: oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas. For me, “exchange” is the operative word there. It also defines exchange as: the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another. In the first "conversation", I ha

A few weeks ago, I spent another overnight stay at the children’s hospital with my daughter and granddaughter. Nora, age eight, had a surgery on the bones and ligaments in her foot. Her orthopedic brace was no longer effective and walking had become painful. Though not brain surgery this time, it’s never fun to have a child you love in the hospital for any reason. For me it feels that during these stays, the whole world is contained in the hospital room we live in. Despite al

It’s hardly a surprise that I should feel strongly about the power of words and our care in choosing them. Words are the conduits of our communications and, with that, our feelings. While the language we use may vary to express them, feelings: happy, sad, angry are universal. Our experiences shape our feelings, which is why it is so important, especially when writing, to wisely choose words to represent them and support our intended messages. The reason I am writing is beca

I work hard every day to find my own positive perspective. However, when it comes to politics, I am casting a vote against the people who, I

My granddaughter Nora continues to catalyze new perspectives for me. One reason is that, except for a few vivid memories, I have very little

In the room where I get dressed, there stands a full length mirror. At first glance, it looks like any other mirror, but it’s not. It’s actu

Today, I got an excited phone call from my almost-seven-year-old granddaughter Nora, who is the miracle subject of my book “Waking up with N